It's Been A While...

     Well, here we are. It's been a really long time since I posted last, and I assume that anyone that was reading my blog is most likely long gone now. It's been a hectic summer for me, mostly because I'm going to be attending a university this year. It's really exciting, and I'm actually going to be writing more than I previously was...I hope. With a major in English, what could go wrong?
     I plan to resurrect my blog, because it sure does need it. And with everything going on, I need it too. I just so happened to reread a few of my posts, and unfortunately, they're all filled with drama. That's high school for you, I guess (lol).
     Anyways, I'm definitely going to write some more.
     I would love to give y'all a preview of my up and coming book, but since I'm coauthoring it, I think it would be best if I give you guys a little something of my own. I assume that those of y'all that have been waiting a while for me to get back on track with the writing would like to read soon, but I need a bit of time to actually write my story.
     Hopefully, y'all will see me soon!

J

Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it?

I'm finally back.

I'm finally writing again.

And I'll tell you what. It feels great.

There's something I want to address first, though, before I get back to my writing. One of my friends is going through a really tough time, and just so you know (I know you'll probs read it, J), we are here for you. Through the ups and the downs and the sideways corkscrews, the loop-de-loops, and the drop towers... We are here for you.

I know that probably sounds like a cheesy piece of garbage or whatever and that it ain't genuine and such, but it is. We know what you're going through, in a different way. We have all experienced what you're going through, just in different ways.

For instance, for me, he never talked to me. We sat in silence and he simply said one day, "We're done." It hurt, but it was a weight off of my shoulders that I didn't think would ever go away. Truthfully, he beat me to it. And I see him every once in a while, but I know that it all worked out for the best.

It hurts, but life hurts too. And then life moves on.

It's all right. We all have our issues and hard times, and it will get better. No matter how much the pain hurts right now, you have friends to pull you away from that.

I need to be pulled away from something right now, and my mind is swirling because of it, but I know that once I see all of y'all - all of my friends - I will be all right.

We don't need no man haha we're independent :)

Anywayssssssssssssss

I've been trying to write a story for the longest time and literally, I just realized that all of my main characters are the exact same. They have the same personalities and the same everything. They reflect me. It was a very emotional moment for me when I came to this realization.

But if you guys really want to read a story, I'll give you one. Just not this week ;) Don't worry, writing month is coming up soon, so there will be a lot of writing and posts then, I think. See you then ;)

Broken

--POEM AT BOTTOM--

I'm going to be selfish for a moment and talk about my pain.

I'm a broken person. I've dealt with so much crap in my life and I honestly don't know how to get away from it. I have only had two people in my life that were able to take away my pain, but one of them is in college and no longer cares about me, and the other one is a moron. I love them both, I do, but they just don't take my pain away as much as they used to.

The one I never speak to is leaving me forever, moving on with his life like I was never a part of it. It hurts. More pain to add to my list. The other one, the moron, he is still alive and well and we see each other everyday, but he doesn't see through me anymore. He used to be able to tell when my pain was overwhelming, and now he doesn't even know when I'm speaking to him.

Here's a poem to keep you all entertained and not have to listen to my rant. I was feeling a little too lazy to add my punctuation in there, so I think I'll leave it be.

Broken

I'm broken

Inside

And out

A porcelain doll

Cracking

Crumbling

Into dust

No one can

Hear

See

Feel me

I am left

On a shelf

Of rotting

Decaying

Memories

And I am

Never

To be taken from

That shelf

That horrid

Disgusting

Revolting

Shelf

Never to be

Smiled at

Twirled around

Loved again

I just sit

And crack

And crumble

Rotting

Until the day

When I am

Forever broken

Broken

Beyond repair

Sadly

No one cares

I am an

Unfortunate soul

Looking for a

Better shelf

Yet

I do not move

I stay in the past

On the shelf

Of memories long since

Forgotten

No one can fix me

Except One

I just need time

But maybe

Being broken

Beyond repair

Rotting

And crumbling

Is what I

Want

Is what I

Crave

No, what I

Need

Because my brokenness

Is necessary

For me to forget

To feel again

To say goodbye

To love

I must be

Broken

FAIRYTALE

--STORY AT BOTTOM--

I know it's been a really long time since I've posted anything - like a month. But hey, I've had a lot of fun interesting stuff happen since I've been gone.I know y'all would just love to hear about it LOL

Okay so I am still stressing about academics, and I have an exam tomorrow that I'm freaking out about. THREE HOURS OF ENGLISH! I MEAN I LOVE ENGLISH BUT THREE HOURS OF STUFF THAT I CAN'T PREPARE FOR?! I like to write and I am gifted with grammar, but three hours of comprehension reading and essays? I hope I can survive it... I think I will, but I just want to pass and do well on it.

Anyways, besides that... I gave that blood like a month ago and that went well - I didn't pass out haha :) And now prom has passed and that went well too LOL went "stag"

Let's see, what else? Ah, how about a little something for entertainment? Like a story?


Anneylia moves from left to right, swaying back and forth to the music. She surveys the room and then her eyes meet his - Lucian. His sandy blonde hair bounces on his head as he walks towards her. "Would you care to dance, milady?"

Lucian holds out his hand to Anneylia and she gratefully takes it. "Of course. I-It would be my honor."

"No, the pleasure is mine, princess." Lucian guides Anneylia onto the dance floor and after a few toe bombardments, the two of them begin to move beautifully. Everyone else stops dancing to watch Anneylia and Lucian dance. A crowd gathers around them and before the two members of royalty know what is going on, the entire party is centered around them.

Anneylia stops and runs from the dance floor. "Anneylia!" Lucian tries to get to her, but she disappears into the crowd. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. Kenneth walks up to Lucian and claps his hand on Lucian's shoulder.

"That is unfortunate, Prince Lucian." Lucian glares at Kenneth for a minute before looking grimly at the floor.

"I should've factored in her shy personality and known not to dance with her... I must go apologize to her."

"I suggest you stay and have a good time without the child."

"She is not a child, Prince Kenneth. She is our age, and she is to be married soon. I wish to be the only candidate for her."

"Luci, I think it best if you do not follow the desires of your childish heart. You have known this girl since neither of you could talk... Do you not think she deserves better?" Lucian stares at the floor again and Kenneth pats his shoulder again. "You know I am, indeed, correct."

Kenneth walks away from Lucian, leaving the prince alone in the middle of the dance floor. Lucian walks out of the ballroom and onto the balcony, seeing Anneylia there. "Princess..."

The princess is startled for a moment, but quickly relaxes as the recognizable sound of her best friend's deep voice reaches her ears. "Prince Lucian..."

"Please, do not be so formal in front of me. I wish to one day become your husband, and formality is no way to speak to your husband."

"Stop talking nonsense! You and I both know that my father must pick a suitor for me, and has he called you forth to him once?" Lucian glances at Anneylia out of the corner of his eye and leans against the balcony railing before looking down at his shoes.

"No, he has not."

"Then why are we even talking about this? It is not a reasonable conclusion." Lucian grabs Anneylia's shaking shoulders and turns her to face him. He notices her tears instantly and wipes them away with his thumbs. He hugs her close to him.

"I know there is a reasonable conclusion. You always said you wanted to live a fairytale. I can give you that." Lucian smiles at Anneylia and takes her hand in his.

They walk into the dusty old ballroom, holding hands. A small child runs past them and twirls in her little, white dress, giggling to herself. Lucian leads Anneylia to the middle of the barren dance floor and wraps her in his arms, and they begin to sway.

Anneylia stares at the little girl and looks up at Lucian. "She's beautiful."

"She's ours."

She looks into his eyes as he mouths one word, "Fairytale."

How's Things Goin'

I am literally so tired - this year has sucked the life out of me. But hey, academics aren't that bad so I really have no right to complain. Other than my knee (which is not academic haha)... For some reason, it feels like it is going to explode. Ya know, like pressure is being put on the back of it and I just don't know what to do lol

Anyways, thought you guys might want an update with my life :)

My best friend is getting married. I am so happy for him! He's gone through a lot and he finally found happiness! I mean, they've only known each other for eight months and have been dating for that long, but hey, if he thinks it's the right choice, I'll support him! I am really really happy for him, though!

My other best friend changed schools. That makes me sad, but I know she is doing better there and we still keep in touch...a lot. Haha and she actually has a blog too, but anyways, I love her like a sister (if I had a sister) and she just means so much to me. I'm glad she is able to live up to her potential :)

Prom is coming up. I am going, as the boys say, "stag." Although, I will have eight other girls and one guy there with me, so I won't technically be going "stag." I think it will be a lot of fun!

I have been writing a lot. Not on here (obviously) but just in general. I am writing a book for fun and so far it is going great!

But then again... With my whole friend situation. There is this one dude who just will not stop annoying me. I can't stand it! Whenever I am around them, I never get a chance to talk and it's just so - ugh! I am really getting sick of this dude and I don't even know why I put up with this crap.

On a lighter note, I take piano and it is really fun. I use it kind of as a refresher from the hardships in my life.

I'm donating blood on Friday. That should be fun. I feel like I gotta give back cuz ya know I had two blood transfusions when I was younger and some strangers saved my life. Maybe I can save someone else's. Plus I kinda wanna know what my blood type is haha

Anyways, this whole blog post is just a bunch of random crap that I threw together on a page, but if you stuck around this long, I'm glad and just for you, I have put a story at the end of this. Well, a poem actually... I wrote it when I was feeling really down in middle school. It's just one of those poems lol ;)

Stolen

My words

My life

My family

My love

My friends

They're all gone

They've been stolen

Why

Why does this happen

Everyone loves

Everyone hates

Everyone is indecisive

Everyone is stolen

No one is correct

What

What is the concept

Of all

All of this stolen

Why do things need help

Why can't they just live

Without help

Why does it hurt

When something is torn

Why does it hurt

When something is broken

Why does it hurt

When something is stolen

Stolen

What does it mean

Taken away

Hurt

Shunned

Stolen

The world cannot be real

It is in our eyes

But what is it really

The world is corrupt

Shaken

Taken away

It is

Stolen

Hope to hear from you guys soon :)

-A

Dudeee

I'll tell you what - I'll give you a little taste of a little something I'm working on. I'm not sure if it's already on here, but if it is... Sorry :/ Maybe you can just read it again and see how you like it.

In a far off world, there was a girl. She was lonely because she thought that she could not be seen or heard by the only other life form on the planet - the boy.

The girl, with her flowing brown hair, slipped into her white dress. She walked across the field and looked at the boy. She stared into his beautiful gray eyes - like glowing charcoal after water has been poured over it - and saw no emotion there.

The girl spoke to him, called out to him, but he did not answer.

The wind began to pick up, and the boy's brown hair blew in front of his eyes. She reached up to brush his hair away from his face so she could see his beautiful eyes once more, but he turned his head and let out a deep breath.

--------

The boy watched as the girl came up to him, and he felt as if he had known her at some point in his life. She had come to see him every day, at this exact time, but he knew that this was not what he was thinking of. Where do I know her from, he thought.

As she stopped in front of the boy, she reached up to touch his hair. He looked away and acted as though he could not see her. After all, that is what is supposed to happen, right? He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding and tried to take a step in the direction of his "home," but he found that his feet would not move.

Something was keeping him there, but what? Seeing that girl every day, he thought, must be my problem. She has influenced me. But I cannot stop thinking about her. Why is this?

He turned back around and found that the girl was all the way across the field, her shoulders shaking slightly as tears flowed down her cheeks. I feel as though I should go comfort her, he thought, but why do I feel this way? The boy turned around again, and this time, he took a step forward and didn't look back.

I really like this entry. It makes me remember why exactly I became a writer in the first place. I'm definitely going to write more and post things as often as I can. Stress is overwhelming, but this writing helps. I'll see what I can do ;)

Adios for now...

Macabroni & Cheese

I literally have no idea what to write. I'm so tired of everything... I just want to curl up in a little ball and just stop. I love my friends and I love hanging out with them, but sometimes they just get on my nerves.

I mean, what are we four? "That's so and so's spot. She's been sitting there since the beginning of the school year!" Oh, stupid me. I didn't know that the seats in the cafeteria were engraved with our names on them. So, there's that whole deal.

And then my friends broke up with his girlfriend - or he was dumped - or... Well, they aren't a thing anymore.

Anyways, there's so much freakin drama and I just can't deal with it anymore. Yeah, tell me I whine and I complain and I'm a jerk and there's no reason for me to even be saying these things, but let me tell you something.

The reason I always talk about this is because you keep making it an issue. I don't have to name names. You know who you are.

I'll tell you what - if I get a few views on here, I will write a story and post it. That should get things flowing a bit better. Maybe it'll be about a friend of mine...maybe not. When I decide what it's going to be about and once I write it, I'll be sure to let you know.

Clean Slate

Okay so I know I have probably already touched on this a few times throughout this blog, but do you know how stressful junior year is?! I got my first C this year and some people made fun of me that I got a C, saying, "Oh! Wow, a C! End of your life, right?" Other people said it wasn't the end of the world and it didn't matter...

Well, to me, this year has been pretty bad so far. But I've been out of school for three days now because of snow and I am so happy about it! I started writing two new books and I can't wait to see how they turn out and I've just got so much going for me now that I've been away from all of the stress.

It's a clean slate.

No fights, no stress, no pain. It's all fun and games, literally.

I'm really happy right now, and I can't think of anything that would make me less happy.

Unless I don't make States in swimming, then I'd be a little bummed, but I hope I can do it!

Anyways, I'm sure some of you want a story, so I'll give you a poem instead.

Onnnn second thought, most of my poems are pretty dark so I'll use a song that I wrote for one of my friends. I'm not sure he liked it because I wrote it in like five minutes, but I don't care. I don't think it's all that good either, but still, it's something to read other than that rant up there. My friend asked me to write about quantum, dreams and stuff and I really had no idea how to incorporate that... There is one word that is missing at the end. It is for you to decide.

Escape

Escape

Into

A world.

Where

Anything-

Everything

Is possible.

Nothing

Stops me

From

Leaving-

From

Staying-

From 

Escaping.

A new world

Calls to me.

It begs me-

To escape

Into a world

Unknown,

Yet whole.

This world-

I created it.

It is 

Whole.

Imagination

Is my escape.

My time-

It is now.

No matter

How-

What-

I do.

There will

Always be

A new-

New world,

Sitting-

Waiting-

For my

Escape.

Though,

I have

Doubts,

I know

Now...

I am

In control.

Both

Reality

And

Unreality

Are

Mine.

They help

Me

Escape

Into this

World.

A world

Where I

See-

Hear-

Imagine-

New things.

An escape

To another world.

Imagination-

Escape-

Dream-

Think.

Is there 

Really

A difference?

Or

Are they all

The same?

Is this

Way

To escape?

Is it

Real?

Is

My escape

Real?

All

Of it,

Is decided-

It is

____

To me.

Please Read:

So guys... Christmas Vacation is coming to a close and I start school on Monday - yay... -.-  Anyways, there's not a lot of stuff that happened over break. There were a few events...

I had like seven Christmases because of my parents' divorce, but that's normal. They've been separated for a long time and divorced for quite a while. I honestly can't think of a time when they were together... Wow, that was eleven years ago, I feel old, man.

I went to Florida with my dad for a soccer tournament my stepsister played in. I'm not a big soccer fan so that was okay...

Two of my friends absolutely hate me. That's an event, I guess. I don't really know why. I guess I'm a jerk or something. I've known this one person for twelve years and they just now decided to tell me how they felt. My best friend hates me. I don't get it. The other person... We've had a few fights, but we've always worked it out. She won't even talk to me to tell me why we're no longer friends.

I know this post probably sounds like I'm just whining and stuff and being selfish and trying to get pity, but honestly, that's not what I want. I just want someone to listen.

After this post, I probably won't be posting a lot of other stuff on here because I'm going back to my old self and concentrating more on my real friends - the ones that care about me.

I'm done. I just don't want to be going through all of this. If they're done, I'm done. I'll be a friend, but if they hate me, there's not much I can do. So... I guess I'm just done with it all.

I'm signing off for now. Maybe I'll write some other time...

Here's one of my final poems. I wrote it a long time ago - 2 years, I think. Well, here it is:

Over

Can this really be over

I never thought that this would end

How can this be

How did this happen

What did I do to deserve this

Why can't I just be

Without not being me

I remember when we walked together

You said we'd be forever

What happened to him

How long will this petal be separated from the stem

Tell me

Why did you do this

Didn't we promise

That we'd always soar

Dude... 12/18/13

Okay guys, so right now I am on three different electronic devices - phone, computer, and wii. Yeah, I know that it's weird that I'm on three things, oh wait. No, it's not. I was actually just thinking about all of the things going on with my friends and stuff, stupid drama and I don't even know what else, and I thought that it was different.

What is "it" exactly? I have no clue. I just thought something was different. Well, I'm on four devices with my gameboy now. Yeah, I'm a nerd and I know it's not cool to be playing a wii or a gameboy, but hey, I like it.

Anyways... I've been trying to talk to one of my friends, and I know she probably won't read this because I'm pretty sure she hates me right now, but it's just... I've been friends with this girl for a while and I love her to death, but she's stopped talking to me and I don't know why.

I actually just closed a chat with her.

I don't know what to do. We've been through so much and I don't even know anymore... I'll just go back to playing my video games and maybe she'll talk to me. I don't want to be a bother to anyone, especially her. I guess we'll talk sometime.

But really, it's none of my business, ya know? So I think I'm just gonna take a step back and wait it out. I'm not giving up, I'm just waiting until whenever. I know a lot of this doesn't make sense, but I'm just gonna go ahead and stop this blog post now.

I have no idea what just went on here because I'm sick and I'm just tired and I don't get it and blahhhhhh

Bunches of Randommm

Man, you guys... I'm sooo bored. I just got back from this awesome church party and there was dancing and couples and I was like, "Meh. I'm single." My two friends were there and they were so cute with their love interests or whatever you want to call them.

Anyways... I thought you might want to read something from a book I wrote with one of my friends. I've been thinking about this friend a lot. She's been having a hard time with some stuff and I'm not exactly sure what's going on. But I want to be there for her in any way I can, ya know? She's one of my best friends and I don't want to ruin that with anything stupid that I usually do.

You know what? I think I'll write you guys a poem instead.

The Crop

This crop

It is in the dirt

Buried

In darkness

It is unloved

Not cared for

Taken away

Stolen

This crop is unable to be changed

It is now loved

Cared for

By you

By me

By all

When it is uprooted

It is loved even more

It is cut

And shredded

It is hurt

But loved

What is it to do

This round crop

That has been enclosed

Unloved

Not cared for

But is now being tended to

These crops

They can no longer be covered 

Or unloved

Because they are loved

By people

And so many others

Because they are no longer covered

Potatoes

No Title

All right, guys... It seems that my entire blog is just about ranting. Maybe I will become a psychiatrist and then I can help everyone out with their problems on my blog and I can turn it into an advice column.

Haha I was kidding. Anyways...

I've got another friend. Oh yes, I do have those. A select few ;) Nah, I really do have friends. But wait... That sounds conceded to me. Ah whatever you guys know what I mean. Back to the point.

So this friend I have... She's having some issues with feeling lonely and also feeling misinterpreted, as a word for it. Well, I just want to clear up for me that this friend I've got is wonderful and awesome and everything you could ask for in a friend.

I want to speak for me and me alone. I don't try to mock her with a "friendly" tone. I say these things wholeheartedly and truthfully. I see in her my former self, my cousin, and most of all, my friend. She does things that are adorable or cute, and that's why I say that.

I mean, come on. When she gets nervous or is just simply standing around, she waves her arms up and down and kind of looks like a baby bird or a squid or something and it really is cute. I believe she should be excited that we think of her this way. We don't - I don't mean it in a mocking tone. I mean what I say.

I feel pretty close to her now because we are in marching band together and stuff, but she brought to my attention the issue that guard and band are separated.

Yeah, I already know the divisions of guard and band. For crying out loud, I've been doing this since - well, this is my sixth year. So, I'm a pretty old veteran when it comes to band. There is definitely a division there.

And it's not that we want there to be one, it's just that the guard and the band are different from each other, ya know? Well, we all love each other the same, we just do different things. The band people that do not socialize amongst each other with the guard are idiots, honestly.

I have friends (shocker) in both the band and the guard and in different grades both lower and higher. I've never had a more close-knit family of classmates than I do in marching band. I love it. I love all of them.

There are some that do not like the guard, likewise for the band. I don't know what their reasons are, but that's how it is. :/

Another point was brought up. We gossip like middle schoolers. Yeah, dude, that's true. I'm not going to deny it. I take part in it, but the only reason why is because this girl we're talking about degrades me and makes me feel like I am nothing.

Yeah, I talk. I try not to - Boy, do I try not to. Usually, I don't. But when it comes to this girl's boyfriend who happens to be my best friend, I'm gonna tell him straight up what I think. I don't try to encourage or discourage him in his decisions, but I do support whatever choices he makes, even if he is stupid sometimes...

That gossip is normal. And I have heard plenty in the guard too... But that's besides the point. Actually, that really has no relevance so scratch that out.

Back to the band. We can be clique-y, but can you blame us? A bunch of awkward, antisocial nerds coming together to put on uniforms and march around a field in the hot sun until we pass out from dehydration or heatstroke... We are probably going to find someone and stick to them like glue.

That's what I did my first year because that best friend I just talked about who's a guy and is pretty stupid sometimes, he just up and left me to fend for myself. He bullied me. I just stayed with him the whole time, but the guy I made a special connection with (let's not be weird here, we were and are just friends) was a sophomore.

He played the mellophone. Also known as the portable french horn. This guy was my new best friend and I really did stick to him like glue. He didn't care that some new girl who was just starting out in middle school wanted to hang with him. He welcomed me into this band family and the relationship that I had with him is what I strive to have in the new and members today.

Some kids are liked more than others, and that's a problem. I agree.

We need everyone to be united in Christ.


Straying away from all of that... My dog died today. I watched him take his last breath. It was very sad and I haven't really stopped crying. Man, I really open up to people on this blog. I don't usually show emotions. Anyways, yeah... I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight and I have an English thing due tomorrow so I need to finish that up.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and and even better rest of the year! (Sorry for the abrupt conclusion!) I'll write again soon!

-Ashton

AP=PH.NL

All right, dudes, here's the chiz. I've got this friend, ya know what I'm saying? And, well, she thinks that there isn't anyone out there who understands. Well, let's see if there is.

Fights. Arguing. Cursing. Depression. Crying. Pain. Sadness. Missing. Lonely.

All of those things are things that she said she is or said she is feeling. Not only that, but she's just really down all the time and never comes to school. And I need her, dudes! She's my bestie and when she breaks down, that's something to be worried about because she is a very strong person.

Ya know... I get it. I don't understand. At least, not what she's going through. But I do understand all of those feelings up at the top right there. All of them. I have felt them, am feeling them, or will feel them. We all do. Some of us just have it a bit harder than others.

Do you know what I say to that? I say that there is a reason. God has some reason for your hardships, your trials, your sadness and depression. It's all part of life, my dear. There's nothing we can do about it. Life has the easy way out and the hard way out. The hard way is pushing through and figuring out where to go from there. And the easy way... I'd say it's not easy.

So this friend of mine... I know she reads my blog and I just want to say that you're really putting yourself down right now. Try to think of the happy things in life, even if you don't think there are any. That's what I've been taught to do. There are plenty of people out there who have a worse life than me.

Yeah, my parents are divorced and there's a reason for that and I think that it's my fault sometimes... I get sad about those things and that I'm making my parents worried with my grades and it's all just... I'm a burden sometimes. I get it. I have burdens a lot. My life... I've gone through a lot more than most people should or ever will have to go through, but I don't want to look back.

I know it's hard right now, my dear, but just remember that through great struggle comes great grace. I know it doesn't seem like there is going to be a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, but I promise you, there is. For all of you guys out there who believe the same thing I do, I'm glad!

Because life... Life is hard, so don't take the easy way out. There are ups and downs and rights and lefts and you're basically on a roller coaster of time, but soon, that time will be gone and you'll be left wondering what you did and how you did it.

I'm not saying you need to forget your entire life or no longer think about the past and I AM DEFINITELY NOT SAYING YOLO!! But what I am saying is this: Life has many obstacles, and one of them is yourself.

Being self-degrading and hurting yourself and being depressed, staying locked away and hiding your emotions isn't good for you. You guys, I want you to promise me that you'll ask for help from a friend or a family member, anyone that can help.

Because I didn't. And I wish I had.

"Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump

RANDOMMMMM

All right, so here's the deal. I'm doing homework, and I just kind of felt like writing. Do you know how long it's been since I've felt like writing? Awhile...

Don't ask me why because I have no earthly idea why I just suddenly wanted to write. Maybe it's because NaNoWriMo is coming up soon, or maybe it's because I felt a little lonely... I'm not sure. All I know is that I need to get this homework done soon so I can go to sleep.

There's a lot of stress right now, and yeah, I love school and friends and all, but then again, grades are just awful. Not that my grades are awful, just getting graded for things is awful, ya know?

Anyways, I felt like writing, so here we go.


Reflection

As I look into the mirror, I see something I have never seen before. Something foreign to me. These eyes are not mine, and yet, when I move or blink, this person does the same.

But her eyes are not mine. These eyes are blue. Those are red.

This foreigner, though she is not me, she is.

How can I understand and get used to a life that is so new to me? The sights and the smells are different than usual. Everything is so overwhelming and I can't concentrate. I never even wanted to be this way. It's not my fault - it's his.

I slowly reach my hand up and touch the eyes looking back at me, the cold glass sliding underneath my fingertips. My hand falls to my side and in one swift movement, the mirror, shattered, is all over the floor. I turn around and out of the corner of my eye, see a pair of red eyes staring back at me.


**Check in every now and again to find out more about this girl as the story progresses.

Lyricist and Wolves

All right, guys, so here it goes. I am supposed to be doing homework and working on all of these things for school, and yet, I am sitting on my butt writing this blog. Do you know how frustrated I am that I can't even come up with a simple history essay?

I have written so many English essays and even an entire novel, and yet, I don't know what to write for history. My teacher even gave us three main points to expand upon and I am just sitting here like, "This printer paper is really soft... Why does it feel so fluffy?"

Anyways, I wanted to inform you guys of this new happening. I am now a lyricist for this upcoming band! My friend started his own screamo band and stuff and asked me to write him a poem, which I did. He liked it and has asked me to write him more. I'm actually pretty excited about this, except for the writing part.

Yeah, I'm good at poetry and I LOVE MUSIC, but this whole writing thing isn't really working out for me. I don't want to write anymore. My passion for it is gone. I don't want to stand up and speak in front of people or have to write things down on a white board. I don't want to be an English teacher anymore.

You see, I like numbers. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my math class - almost as much as I love music. Crunching numbers calms me down, and so does music. I listen to music as I crunch numbers. It's what I do. Or rather, it's what I want to do.

I'm trying to come up with some lyrics right now that have to do with dreaming and happiness. I'm not quite sure what stance I am going to take or exactly how I am going to develop the dreaming part, but I'll figure it out and let you guys know how it goes! I promise that next time I won't take as long to write another blog post.

Btw, the posts from earlier that talk about those crushes I had... Yeah, they're all pretty much invalid now. I mean, there's still this one guy that I have a crush on, but I won't say who. I'll leave that up to your imagination to see who I picked. And also, I don't really want to like anyone, ya know?

Anyways, how about a story?

I'll take that as a yes ;)

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Anther takes my hand in his and looks into my eyes. "I've liked you for a really long time, Threllion... Won't you go out with me?" I look away from Anther as my cheeks turn a bright red. I quietly scuff the bottom of my sneaker on the floor, trying not to seem extremely eager.

"You could have just said no, Threl..." I look up at Anther and see that he is already turned around, walking away from me. I notice that the back of his neck is streaked with random black lines, and I immediately run after him.

"Anther-" I rest my hand on his shoulder, but he jerks away from me. "Please, Anther..." He looks at me and I take a step back in surprise, not expecting his dark brown eyes to be pale blue. I rest my hand on his arm once again and his gaze follows my hand.

"What're you-"

"Can't you tell how I feel?" Anther looks down at me for a moment, puzzled by my words, before he takes a deep breath. He runs his fingers through his hair and I see that he has completely calmed down. Both his skin and eyes are now back to normal.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wraps around me, encircling me in warmth.

Almost instantly, though, the warmth disappears. It is replaced by the numbing chill of the ice cave. Now I remember... I open my eyes and see Anther pacing back and forth from one end of the cave to the other. "Anther?"

"I'm so glad you're awake! I think I came up with a plan to get us out of here and everything! Okay, so first we will wait out the blizzard and then-"

"Anther... We're stranded in here. I can't-"

"Don't you dare give up on me, Threl."

"But my leg-" I look down at my contorted leg and a wave of nausea washes over me as I see a bone protruding from my purplish-yellow skin. I cover my mouth with my hand and squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see anymore.

"We'll be fine. As soon as the blizzard clears, we will be able to change and you'll be healed." I shake my head and take a few deep breaths, trying to suppress the stinging feeling in my eyes. It is to no avail. Hot tears run down my cheeks as I accept my fate.

Anther walks over to where I am sitting and slides down the wall until he hits the floor. He drapes his arm over my shoulders and pulls me close. "Why are you so upset about this all of the sudden? Was it your dream? It was just a dream, Threl..."

"Anther, I'm not going to make it through another day. I've already lost too much blood. And even if I do make it through the night, which is highly unlikely, I won't be able to move around and run with you. I won't even have enough energy to change."

"But-"

"Anther, if this is our last night together, would you rather us spend it arguing over my life or reminiscing about all of the good times we've had together?" I lay my head on Anther's shoulder and listen to him go on and on about his favorite parts of our friendship. I close my eyes and fall asleep to the sound of Anther's voice, ready to leave this earthly world.

We were best friends. We loved each other deeply, but our love was not enough to keep us together. Anther was right about the blizzard stopping quickly and was also right about me making it through the night. But the unexpected happened the day after that horrible blizzard.

Anther died.

Lifetime w/ a Story

Oh my gosh guys! I just finished these two really awesome stories! And one of them made my ahjdhflhsadkja and then the other did the same. I literally finished both of them last night and I couldn't even! I was so happy and sad at the same time! I couldn't deal with it! I just couldn't! They were both so cute and they're up there with my all time favorites!!


Story

Kel's Diary:

So anyways, I just thought that today and everyday would be a great day to tell you that I care about you. There have been a few instances where I've run into some people that didn't really want to keep on living. Even though I had no clue who they were, I felt that they just needed someone. I talked to them and helped them out, and everything was going well.

Don't worry, there are no "buts" in this story. See, all I wanted to say was that I love everyone and even if you don't like me, or if you even hate me, I will always leave a spot for you in my heart. These people that didn't want to live, I helped them realize the need for living. That they had a purpose in this world.

"Kel! It's time for school! Come on!!" I close my laptop and slide it into my messenger bag, running down the stairs and out the front door as my mother hands me a piece of toast for the road. I hop into Gavin's car and begin munching on my breakfast.

"Kel, how long were you going to make me wait?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Gavin rustles my hair and I punch him in the shoulder.

"Ouch! Come on, I'm driving!" Gavin looks at me out of the corner of his eye and sighs. "You shouldn't do that. You're a girl."

"One, that was sexist. And two, if you don't want me to punch you, don't aggravate me!"

"Sorry, Miss Touchy-Feeley..." I punch Gavin once more and he winces, rubbing his shoulder.

"I don't know, neither do I want to know what exactly you're trying to imply." By the time I'm done with my breakfast and Gavin has pulled into the parking lot, classes have already started. "Gavin, we're late again!"

"It's not my fault that your fingers are glued to that electronic device of yours! It's been ages since anyone has ever used those things! Why do you insist on using it even though they're old and outdated?" I shrug and place my hand gently on my bag.

"Maybe it's because I feel that every time I type something with my fingers, I feel that I am reaching out to someone far away. Maybe I've helped a lot of people and I just don't know it yet. Somehow, though, I can feel that the things I have written have really brightened up someone's day. Someone... Somewhere..."

"Somewhere in that loopy head of yours. No one uses laptops anymore, Kel. Get over it and just go outside for the sunlight every once in a while... Like the rest of us. What happened to the Kel who used to play with me everyday after following me home from school? I miss that Kel..."

I didn't realize up until now that Gavin and I had stopped walking. He's closer to me now than he normally is. Since he's a lot taller than me, my face only comes up to his chest, but somehow, this closeness feels...different. "Gavin..?" I slowly look up to find him staring intently down at me.

His hand brushes against my cheek and I immediately take a step away from him. "Gavin, Kel, what're you doing?" Arel walks up to the two of us and wraps his arms around both of us. "Are the two of you skipping school this early in the morning?"

Gavin and I both shake our heads and Arel looks at the two of us questioningly. "Then, what're you-"

"Nothing, big brother. It's nothing to get concerned about." Gavin begins walking to his locker before I can even finish my sentence. Arel stands in front of me and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Kel..."

I quickly walk past Arel, but he grabs my arm. My eyes follow Gavin as he gets farther and farther away from me. "Please, Arel, I'll tell you later when we're at home." Arel narrows his eyes at me, but I feel his grip loosen, so I wiggle out of his grasp before he changes his mind.

By the time I get to the lockers, Gavin is already gone. "The only good think about lockers is that ours are next to each other, so we can talk in between classes and all... Even though we're in different grades, we still have our lockers next to each other. That's good, I guess."

"Of course it is. Now, hurry up, slowpoke. We have to get to class before the teacher thinks we're completely skipping out. Want me to walk you to your classroom?"

"Sure!" I smile at Gavin as he picks up my books, the two of us walking down the hallway together.

I'm glad I have a friend like him. He may be the only one, but he's the best...