xXxXx It's Not So xXxXx

**STORY AT BOTTOM OF POST

Overview:

I don't know how many of you guys watch PLL, but that season finale was so intense! I don't even know where to start haha :) But right now my head is so confused with the ending and everything just seems so jumbled. I can't believe it!

So... I'm a little scared for this year, guys. So many things going on and I don't know how to work them out. My once best friends are wheedling their way back into my life and then my other best friends are dropping me off a cliff and then these people that I didn't even think of as possible friends are now my friends and I just- it's been a really long week, and it's only Tuesday.


A few questions:

Why is life so hard?
--> It's life - that's how it's supposed to be. If it wasn't hard, life would just be called, "super happy fun time."
Why does my best friend insist on hiding things from me?
--> I don't know about you guys, but my best friend has been acting weird lately. I mean, last year this person was telling me to stay away from this guy because my friend was afraid that this dude would "hurt" me. Then, when I asked my friend why they felt that way, they said they couldn't tell me until I was older.
What does that even mean?!
--> I don't know... This person really confuses me, but I stay friends with them because I can't help it. They make me smile :)
Why are there all of these questions?
--> I just wanted to fill up some space in this blog...


STORY:

I feel as though I am being watched, but when I turn around, no one is there. I look up at the streetlight and pray to myself that he'll be here soon. I look at my watch and sigh. It's quarter to twelve, what could he be doing?

Suddenly, there is a loud screeching sound and everything around me darkens. I am aware of a slight feeling of weightlessness, but as quick as it came, it was gone. I feel my body hit the ground, but I'm not really there. I can see everything from a distance, as though I am looking at everything from above the earth.

I'm dead...

I look inside of the car and see him unconscious in the front seat, with blood running down the side of his head. I don't want to die yet... Not without him. His eye twitches and then he opens his eyes completely. "Ouch... Baby, what happened?"

He shakes his head back and forth and gets out of his car, walking around to the front. "What happened?!" He picks me up in his arms and I feel a slight tingling sensation in my back. He kisses my forehead and I see tears run down his face as he looks back to his car. "I was just trying to text you to tell you I'd be a little late. I didn't- I'd never mean to-" His voice breaks as a sob rises in his throat.

I can feel a stinging at the base of my neck and there's a lot of pressure on my body. Jolts of pain make my body convulse and everything goes black. I feel an enormous amount of pain as it courses through my body and when I slowly open my eyes, all I see is white.

Maybe I'm not dead...

Then, I see his face. Flashing red lights make my head ache and I close my eyes again. Everything fades away and I am left to my imagination as to what happened for the rest of that night.

I spent the next three months of my life in a hospital, having surgery after surgery, and he stood by me the whole time. He was able to do this because the charges of texting and driving were dropped when the police learned that his friend was behind the wheel, not him.

He was in a motorcycle accident a few years later, and the same thing happened to him. I've always wondered why, exactly, our lives were spared. I still haven't found the answer. but I know that someday, I will find my purpose in this world. We all will.

Sins in the Snow

I have so much to do before tomorrow and I don't know what to start on or even how to start. Sometimes I wish I could just sit and chill and not have anything to worry about - oh, wait. I did. It's called Summer Break. Stupid me...

Anyways, thought I'd share a story with you guys and see how you like it.


I run my hands over the smooth, brown bark. It feels as though I was just here not too long ago... It's been an eternity since I came here, and yet, it still looks the same.

My two-year old runs around in the snow, making light giggling noises as he catches snowflakes with his tongue. I smile at him and all of a sudden, a pair of arms wraps around me. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" I turn around to face my husband and push him away playfully, but as I look into his eyes, I know I can't lie to him.

"What's wrong? You haven't spoken a word since we got here... What's so bad about this place? We did, after all, go to high school here..." I take a deep breath and shake my head.

"It's nothing, really." He takes a step towards me and cups my face in his hands, brushing his thumbs back and forth across my face. He searches my eyes for a moment, trying to understand why I am so upset, and right as he leans down, there is a loud cry coming from where our son is.

We both turn to see our red-faced son sitting on his bottom, crying his eyes out. My husband runs over to our son and I lean against the old tree. You know why I'm upset... He has to live a life without any idea of who he is.

And he'll never fit in. He'll never be normal. It's all my fault, too... If only I could have been more careful. We could have come out of this without any problems, but no... We had to have our son chosen for the Pods. How could they just take him away like that?!

"No, I won't let them!" My husband turns to face me, with our son in his arms, and when he sees my face, he just shakes his head.

"I won't either... That's why we came here. To start over..." I take another deep breaths, trying to calm the beast raging inside of me. My husband hands our sleeping son to me and I take him in my arms, brushing a strand of brown hair behind his ear. I press a kiss to his small forehead and a small tear escapes my eyes, rolling down my cheek.

"We are coming back here for him, Jade. Do you understand?" I look up at my husband and see that his eyes are glowing a fiery red.

"Lucian..." He closes his eyes and shakes his head before looking back at me. He looks away from me once more and I notice a tear drop fall to the ground. "It's-"

"Don't! Don't defend me!" A deep growl rises in Lucian's throat and before I know what's happening, Lucian's on the ground with his head resting on our two-year old's stomach.

"Daddy?" Layton looks up at his father, and as I kneel down in the snow, I wrap my arms around the two of them.

"Sh, Layton, it's okay..." I hear a car door slam shut and then Layton is gone. I whisper optimistic thoughts to my husband, but mostly they are for myself. "He'll come back. I know he will..."

Layton was brought back three months later. Considering that he was just a child, he had no idea what had just happened to him. None of us did, really... All we know is that when you are two years old, you are taken to a hospital and a lot of tests are taken to make sure that you are ready for the Pods.

When Layton turns twelve, he'll be made to enter a maze that is meant to take out the weak members of society. It is of such great magnitude that it takes two months to complete. Everyone is chosen to enter, but only six percent of people come out of the maze. Lucian and I were two of the lucky ones.

After the first maze, you are put back in one until you turn seventeen. The next five increase in difficulty, but the time is cut short. The second is seven weeks. The third is five weeks. The fourth is three weeks. The fifth is three weeks. The sixth is two weeks. The seventh is only one week.

You go to school one day and then the next, half of your class is gone. By the end of the week, only four classmates return. It's scary, never knowing when you might have to enter the Pods...

That's why Lucian and I are running. We don't want Layton to have to go through what we went through. We will do anything for him - that is why we have decided to go into hiding. No one will know who or where we are. They won't even know we're gone.

We've moved every month since then. Lucian teaches Layton in schooling and other methods that we use. If we are ever found, we'll be ready. We have a secret that no one has ever figured out before...

Until that day happened...

Pressures

So... I started school again. I've had a lot of homework put on me recently and what always comes with homework and school? Pressure.

There's been a lot of negative pressure lately.

I've decided to take the highest level English class and the highest level everything. All Honors and AP... Except for History - that is Honors though I could take AP if I wanted.

There's also been this dramatic thing going on between some of my friends... Well, acquaintances, really. I still don't have the full story, but from what I know, these people aren't the nicest. I heard two different sides of the story.

I'm usually the mediator between my friends' fights and crushes and sadness, so that's always something that is pressuring me.

A lot of pressure this week, guys. Hopefully there won't be as much next week...

Til then...

Random..? Or not so much..?

I'm learning how to play the piano. It's actually not as hard as I thought it would be, but it's still challenging...

That was just something that you know about me now. Anyways, here's my real post:

I wander through the beautiful meadow. My white dress barely touches the tips of the green, green grass. As I turn around, my hair flows down to my shoulders, creating a sort of golden frame for my face.

I see a figure off in the distance. He looks kind of lonely for some reason. I wonder why that man over there is all by himself? I skip over to him with the biggest smile I can muster. I sit down next to him and just stare at him, waiting for him to do something, say something.

"Hey, what're you doing?"

"Watching the clouds as they move across the sky, waiting for someone to join me. Would you like to?" I nod to him as he lies down in the grass and then, I copy his actions.

"So, I just watch the clouds as they go by?" The man nods and we just sit there for what seems like hours, watching the clouds move across the sky like sea foam in the ocean.

After a little while, the man sits up and stretches. He turns to me and says, "All right, well, that was fun. I think it's time to go." I look up at the man with sad eyes and plead with him.

"Awww, do we have to? Do we really gotta leave?" He smiles and snickers to himself.

"Yes, we really do gotta leave." He laughs and shakes his head. "Your grammar... Come on, now. Let's get going. Your mother has dinner ready."

I stand up on the trampoline that sits in my backyard and walk over to the small stepstool so that I can get down. Dad goes down first and turns back around to face me, holding out his hand.

I reach up and grab the big hand that is filled with warmth and somehow, I know that he'll always be there for me.

"I love you, Daddy. Happy Father's Day."


I hope all of you father's out there have a wonderful Father's Day. And I hope all you kids wish your father a Happy Father's Day. Be grateful for the time you have with him and cherish every second!

No Insp Yet...

So, I've been trying to write this post for a while, but I realized that it's most likely not a very possible thing to do... You see, basically, I haven't been able to write in forever. I don't know what it is...

I've been trying to write this book that's been on my mind, but it's not... I just haven't been able to think of a way to start it. Yeah, I have a while to figure out what I want to write and how I plan on doing so, but - I just don't understand why I can't figure out what to write.

Well, maybe I should just try my hardest to figure out what to write, how to write it, and when I should have the time for doing so...

You know, I think I'm going to start on it now. Maybe I'll upload it soon or give y'all a sneak peek of it. Well, at least the prologue. So far, it's about two sentences... But I do have at least two or three chapters already written. I'll figure out where everything goes and then, maybe, I'll end up writing something worth people reading.

OR

Maybe the book will just magically appear in front of me and say, "Send me to a publisher! I'm the best book you have ever seen and I think you can make it in the writing-biz!"

OR

I'll just write as I go along and then I can see how everything progresses from there.

Yeah, I think that last one is my best choice...

3...2..1! MB

So, marching band is starting up on Friday. That'll be fun - colorguard has already started, though. They have tryouts and whatnot before we do, but that's cool haha :) I've got some big news though! It's going to be announced tomorrow, so I guess this is a spoiler... I'm going to be in the leadership this year - SQUAD CAPTAIN!! I can't believe it! I'm so excited and I can't wait for marching band this year!

Beware, new marchers... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Just kidding, but seriously, band size doesn't matter as long as we have fun and enjoy everything - glorifying God in the process. Music is my way to vent sometimes. I look at my clarinet and I just think, "Wow... I've been doing this for seven years. I can read music and march and memorize things all at the same time in 100 degree weather - and it's great!"

Marching band is probably one of the best things that has happened to me. I love it so much and you know, it's more than just a band. We're a family. Every time one of the seniors leaves, I cry a little bit on the inside. Except for two years ago, I actually cried a lot then... But that's another story. I'd try to describe what it's like to be on the field, performing in front of so many people and moving at such a fast pace - with a schedule to follow and a period amount of time to go by...

But I can't.

I mean, let's see...

I look straight ahead at the marcher in front of me, his plume is already beginning to wilt in the August heat. I focus on my clarinet, steal a glance at my shoes, and then scold myself for looking down (something you never do in band). I look back up at the wilting plume and try my hardest to suppress the growing smile on my lips.

You'd think that after four years of marching band, I'd be getting better at hiding that smile. Oh well... Maybe it'll be better in a minute. I blink a few times as sweat gets in my eyes. Attention is called and the whole band moves as one. I look up at the bright stadium lights and put my mouthpiece up to my lips. This, right here and now, is what I have - the whole band has striven for. This moment on the field - the audience quiet, the soft sound of the insects buzzing around in the muggy night sky.

This is the moment. My moment. The band's moment. Our moment.

Writing..?

I have writer's block... I know I promised some stories, but I just don't know if I can write anymore. It seems that ever since a week or so ago, I haven't been able to write or conjure up any type of anything. No poems, no stories, not even any ideas.

But I've had a lot of rants, and I do apologize for those... I just wish that this whole writer's block thing would blow over. Then, I'd be happy a little.

So, I have this leadership thing going on right now, and it's a great opportunity! But I don't know how well I'll do... If I get the position, that'd be awesome! But what if I don't?

Man, I've been so down lately for some reason... I guess I'm just tired. And the fact that it's rained for, like, ten straight days doesn't help either.

And also, everything is changing. Feelings, friends, classes, years, ages, EVERYTHING!! It's all moving too fast and I can't keep up! I don't know what to do and I freak out and I just need to calm down and take a break...

Too bad I have homework and a test tomorrow. And a project of sorts...

Maybe my stories will come back soon. Maybe not... But I sure hope they do.