3-14: Pi Day

There's a guy I like. But he doesn't really notice me, I don't think. What do I do? Someone just convinced me that I should tell him - to put all of the cards on the table. But if he doesn't like me... Will I be okay with that? I'm honestly not all that sure. Too many insecurities for me to tell him, that's what I think. I get shy around him. He asks for my help on things and says, "We can do it!" But really... Is it 'we?' I don't know... I kinda feel like it's 'me.' Or maybe, considering the certainties that he needs help on, maybe it's just 'him.' Maybe tomorrow will be different, though. Filled with less insecurities, less problems, less worries, and more love.

After all, I was born three months early. I lived through that. I lived through my parents' separation. I lived through my grandma's cancer - my Mimi. I lived through the worst years of my life in middle school - all of that betrayal and hurt. I lived through it all.

And ya know what? If I can get through that, I can get through anything! I have God on my side too. That always gives me an advantage. My powerful and almighty God. He won't ever forsake me. He'll help me through everything and anything that I struggle with.

I just cheered myself up with this blog!!

Happy Early Birthday to me!!

Now... Back to my Spanish news broadcasting and studying...

The Helper

I take one step forward, putting my right foot in front of my left. I look over the edge and take a deep breath. I close my eyes as I imagine just taking one step to the side and then I would be falling. It's as easy as that. One step.

But if it's as easy as that, why can't I take it?

"That's what ran through my head." The guidance counselor, Miss Pillton, looks at me and crosses her legs, folding her hands in her lap. "Can I leave now? I know you'll tell my aunt about all of this, so why can't I just go ahead and leave? I have no friends here anyways..."

"Leave this room? Leave the school? Leave the town or the state? Or just leave this life?" I cross my arms over my chest and lean back in the bright, yellow armchair.

"Just this room. I'm not like that anymore. It's been a year, Pill. I haven't had those thoughts in forever, except for when you ask me to tell the story over and over."

"I only ask you about the story because I want to see how you react." The alarm on my phone rings and I take it out of my pocket as I stand up, silencing the alarm.

"Session's over. It's my last time, do I have your permission to leave?"

"Yes. I am pleased with your progress and I don't believe I can help you any further." Pill takes out her stamp and puts a star on my hand, ushering me out of her office and back into the rumble of school hallways. I wave goodbye to Pill and head to my locker, grabbing my books.

I turn around to go to my next class, but someone runs into me, knocking me over. I slide about five feet and my books go everywhere. A few people kick me and I just lie there. I hear someone near me say, "Dude!! What's wrong with you? You just knocked over that freaky weirdo!!" I roll my eyes and slowly get to my feet, watching the room spin before my very eyes.

"I'm so sorry!" I look at the boy walking over to me, and before I can back away, he's kneeling down and grabbing my books for me.

"It's fine... Sorry. It was my fault..." The boy stands up from the floor and tilts his head to the side, almost as though he doesn't understand. He opens his mouth to say something, but his friend who spoke up earlier interrupts.

"Come on, Wes!! Get away from the little freak!!" The boy named 'Wes' hands me my books and smiles at me.

"It wasn't your fault, so don't worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you're okay..?" I nod at him and then Wes continues to talk. "Yeah, I'm new here by the way. My name is Wesleigh, but most people prefer to call me Wes for some reason. Nice to meet you."

"Hi... I'm Jessica." I take a deep breath as I push a strand of hair behind my ear, and then I notice that Wes has AP English books in his hands. "Are you going to AP English now?"

Wes nods and looks down at my books. "Ah, cool! We have the same class together!! I'll see you in there, okay?"

It's my final year in high school and I've finally made one friend. One friend. Wesleigh.

Maybe this year will be different with this boy... This helper.

An After Tale

C&S

I walk through the meadow, taking in the warm sunlight as it reflects off of my skin. As the soft summer breeze blows through my hair, I spin around in a circle. I lie down in the grass and look to the left, noticing someone approaching.

"Thanks for finally showing your sorry face around here..." I sit up as I say this, and then he sits down next to me. I move away from him and then he stands back up, walking over to me.

"Hey, now... I wouldn't miss this for the world. You know that I love you, don't you?" He runs his fingers through his hair and take a deep breath, searching my eyes for a moment before looking down at his feet. He kicks a small pebble - which, in turn, hits me in the forehead. I fall back into the grass as he begins to laugh.

"Shut up..." He kneels down in front of me and places a gentle kiss on my forehead, making a fire ignite within me. The fire is not the good kind. It is more of a painful sensation than it is a wonderful feeling filled with emotion. The fire spreads throughout my body and when I reach up to feel the spot where my face got in the way of the pebble, there is no pain there.

"Does that feel better, my little Token?" I nod at him and he scoops me up into his arms. I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but my attempt is to no avail. I sigh and he looks down at me, rolling his eyes. He sets me down and I walk next to him, jerking when he grabs my hand in his.

"We have to go see the engaged couple now... I'm sure they'll have much to talk about." He looks down at me and smiles the biggest smile I think I've ever seen. Then, he shocks me with his next words.

"I think we should follow suit, my dearest Token."

Today

Days like today
Are the start of something new
A fresh start
A clean slate
When you need to forget your past

Whatever happened
I won't ask
If you promise me
That you'll do the same

Days like today
When you can't
See
Hear
Believe
Even though I'm here

Though I'm here and I'll stay
Stay for you
So you feel
Whole
Alive

You feel like
Like you're where you belong
With me
And I with you

We're where we belong
And happy now

Today is
Your day
My day
Our day

Today
Is Today
And it's just
Today

Aliens? Beings? What are they?

One day
Today
They were
Here
There
Everywhere

Yesterday
They weren't
They came
Within a night

And this night
Tonight
They are gone

One
The other
They are
No longer
Here
There
Everywhere

Because
They were
Taken
Tortured
And bruised

They were saved
By the people
Of this world
The people
Who orgiginally
Hated
Betrayed them

Now everything
Is back
To normal

Until
Maybe
They come
Again

???

Snowy Clearing

The snow falls all around me, quietly, silently. I fall down to the ground, lying on my back, and turn my head to the side. As the cold begins to make my cheeks turn red, I close my eyes. I take a deep breath and look back up at the sky when the bit of light that is shining through the clouds is suddenly blocked. "What do you want?"

I sit up as the boy sits next to me and when he lies down, I stand quickly. "Why are you here?" He doesn't answer my questions, but instead just sits there silently. "Fine." I turn to walk away, but he reaches up and grabs my wrist.

"Wait." I freeze as the warmth of his hand on my wrist spreads throughout me and I stiffen. He stands up and then his face fills my vision. "Don't run from me, please..." I look away from him and close my eyes, taking a step forward.

"Please, I never wanted to hurt you. I..."

"Then why did you?! Why did you hurt me? You left me all alone and now you want to accompany me everywhere? Stop it!!" I turn from him as hot tears run down my face and a pair of arms wraps around me. I crumble in his arms and fall to the ground, but he catches me and holds me there in the snow.

"I love you."

Ughhhhh

I sit up in my bed and look around, hearing a loud ringing in my ears. I swing my legs over the side of my bed and gently place my feet on the hardwood floor. I walk over to the door and open it slowly, walking into the hallway lit by only one flickering light. I head for the door at the end of the hallway, hoping that something or someone is waiting for me.

When I reach the door, I place my hand on the doorknob and wait, feeling the heat growing closer. The smoke starts crawling underneath my door and I turn around, walking back to my room. I casually step out onto my little roof that overhangs my porch, and then I jump down to the porch railing, lightly stepping into the grass. I pull my cellphone out of my pocket and look back at the dorm room, seeing the fire spread and the explode through the windows.

I close my cellphone as the text sends and then I grab my shoes from behind the tree that I used to sit under. I take a deep breath as I am tying my shoes and then he's standing right next to me. "Hey." I look up at him and he smiles, holding his hand out to me. I take it and he pulls me up.

We start walking, the dorm room slowly burning to the ground as we walk through the forest. We come to a clearing and I hear the click of a switch. I smile as I turn around, knowing that he is ready for this fight. "So... Are you ready to face those little creatures of the night?" He nods and I take my place next to him as the little creatures begin to come out of the forest.

They are pale white, with blood-red eyes. The creatures' fangs protrude from their mouths, piercing their lips. But they seem to take no notice of that fact. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, searching for my sword in my mind. I find it and when I open my eyes, it's right there in front of me, in my hands. "Take the West. I want the East."

As the creatures begin to crawl towards us, maniacally laughing, the boy and I stand back to back. "As you have said, it shall be done."

We wait there for what seems like hours... And that's when I feel him fall next to me.