Do you know?

Do you know how hard it is? Liking someone so close to you, and yet, he isn't able to see how you feel. People keep saying, "Tell him! Tell him! Tell him how you feel!" Well, let me ask you a question.

Why?

I've never had a reason to tell him. He's leaving. I probably won't talk to him after this school year. Yes, at one point... I thought there was maybe something there. But that was a weekend long ago.

And I need to face the truth: THERE ISN'T ANYTHING THERE.

Now, another question, but for me this time. Do I mind? Let me tell you something. The honest truth is... I don't think I do. Yeah, it'd be nice... But my world won't be crushed to pieces. I've waited a while, pondering, thinking, praying about all of this.

"What did I find," you may ask.

My answer: I'm done.

You may believe that to be a weird answer, but the more I thought and thought about it. The more I realized - I don't need someone to make me happy. I have my family and my friends and the most important of all, God.

So, yes, I will tell him. Maybe even tomorrow... I don't know. But what I do know is this: I'm happy to be free of all of this crap. I can't wait to face the day tomorrow, because I have a feeling that things are going to go well.

Am I crazy for feeling this way? I don't think so... No, I really don't. Now, what you say to all this... That's your opinion. You can tell me what you think or just keep it to yourself, because I don't really care.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to be harsh. I'm just trying to convince myself to an extent I guess... Even though I don't think I need any convincing. I'm perfectly fine with my life as it is now.

For another story... My mom brought up an old friend. She said that somewhere in my heart... Something, a feeling, lies there. She explained what she thought it was, and though I did listen to her, I still don't think it's true.

So, do you know? Know of toils and troubles? Know of everything I've been through?

Before you answer, let me just tell you... I love my life. And this is the happiest I've been in high school, I think. Start talking about me or whatever, I don't care. Words won't bring me down. Not now, not today, not tomorrow.

This post has been kind of like my venting post. I like it. But I'll be shooting out stories soon!