It's Been A While...

     Well, here we are. It's been a really long time since I posted last, and I assume that anyone that was reading my blog is most likely long gone now. It's been a hectic summer for me, mostly because I'm going to be attending a university this year. It's really exciting, and I'm actually going to be writing more than I previously was...I hope. With a major in English, what could go wrong?
     I plan to resurrect my blog, because it sure does need it. And with everything going on, I need it too. I just so happened to reread a few of my posts, and unfortunately, they're all filled with drama. That's high school for you, I guess (lol).
     Anyways, I'm definitely going to write some more.
     I would love to give y'all a preview of my up and coming book, but since I'm coauthoring it, I think it would be best if I give you guys a little something of my own. I assume that those of y'all that have been waiting a while for me to get back on track with the writing would like to read soon, but I need a bit of time to actually write my story.
     Hopefully, y'all will see me soon!

J

Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it?

I'm finally back.

I'm finally writing again.

And I'll tell you what. It feels great.

There's something I want to address first, though, before I get back to my writing. One of my friends is going through a really tough time, and just so you know (I know you'll probs read it, J), we are here for you. Through the ups and the downs and the sideways corkscrews, the loop-de-loops, and the drop towers... We are here for you.

I know that probably sounds like a cheesy piece of garbage or whatever and that it ain't genuine and such, but it is. We know what you're going through, in a different way. We have all experienced what you're going through, just in different ways.

For instance, for me, he never talked to me. We sat in silence and he simply said one day, "We're done." It hurt, but it was a weight off of my shoulders that I didn't think would ever go away. Truthfully, he beat me to it. And I see him every once in a while, but I know that it all worked out for the best.

It hurts, but life hurts too. And then life moves on.

It's all right. We all have our issues and hard times, and it will get better. No matter how much the pain hurts right now, you have friends to pull you away from that.

I need to be pulled away from something right now, and my mind is swirling because of it, but I know that once I see all of y'all - all of my friends - I will be all right.

We don't need no man haha we're independent :)

Anywayssssssssssssss

I've been trying to write a story for the longest time and literally, I just realized that all of my main characters are the exact same. They have the same personalities and the same everything. They reflect me. It was a very emotional moment for me when I came to this realization.

But if you guys really want to read a story, I'll give you one. Just not this week ;) Don't worry, writing month is coming up soon, so there will be a lot of writing and posts then, I think. See you then ;)

Broken

--POEM AT BOTTOM--

I'm going to be selfish for a moment and talk about my pain.

I'm a broken person. I've dealt with so much crap in my life and I honestly don't know how to get away from it. I have only had two people in my life that were able to take away my pain, but one of them is in college and no longer cares about me, and the other one is a moron. I love them both, I do, but they just don't take my pain away as much as they used to.

The one I never speak to is leaving me forever, moving on with his life like I was never a part of it. It hurts. More pain to add to my list. The other one, the moron, he is still alive and well and we see each other everyday, but he doesn't see through me anymore. He used to be able to tell when my pain was overwhelming, and now he doesn't even know when I'm speaking to him.

Here's a poem to keep you all entertained and not have to listen to my rant. I was feeling a little too lazy to add my punctuation in there, so I think I'll leave it be.

Broken

I'm broken

Inside

And out

A porcelain doll

Cracking

Crumbling

Into dust

No one can

Hear

See

Feel me

I am left

On a shelf

Of rotting

Decaying

Memories

And I am

Never

To be taken from

That shelf

That horrid

Disgusting

Revolting

Shelf

Never to be

Smiled at

Twirled around

Loved again

I just sit

And crack

And crumble

Rotting

Until the day

When I am

Forever broken

Broken

Beyond repair

Sadly

No one cares

I am an

Unfortunate soul

Looking for a

Better shelf

Yet

I do not move

I stay in the past

On the shelf

Of memories long since

Forgotten

No one can fix me

Except One

I just need time

But maybe

Being broken

Beyond repair

Rotting

And crumbling

Is what I

Want

Is what I

Crave

No, what I

Need

Because my brokenness

Is necessary

For me to forget

To feel again

To say goodbye

To love

I must be

Broken

FAIRYTALE

--STORY AT BOTTOM--

I know it's been a really long time since I've posted anything - like a month. But hey, I've had a lot of fun interesting stuff happen since I've been gone.I know y'all would just love to hear about it LOL

Okay so I am still stressing about academics, and I have an exam tomorrow that I'm freaking out about. THREE HOURS OF ENGLISH! I MEAN I LOVE ENGLISH BUT THREE HOURS OF STUFF THAT I CAN'T PREPARE FOR?! I like to write and I am gifted with grammar, but three hours of comprehension reading and essays? I hope I can survive it... I think I will, but I just want to pass and do well on it.

Anyways, besides that... I gave that blood like a month ago and that went well - I didn't pass out haha :) And now prom has passed and that went well too LOL went "stag"

Let's see, what else? Ah, how about a little something for entertainment? Like a story?


Anneylia moves from left to right, swaying back and forth to the music. She surveys the room and then her eyes meet his - Lucian. His sandy blonde hair bounces on his head as he walks towards her. "Would you care to dance, milady?"

Lucian holds out his hand to Anneylia and she gratefully takes it. "Of course. I-It would be my honor."

"No, the pleasure is mine, princess." Lucian guides Anneylia onto the dance floor and after a few toe bombardments, the two of them begin to move beautifully. Everyone else stops dancing to watch Anneylia and Lucian dance. A crowd gathers around them and before the two members of royalty know what is going on, the entire party is centered around them.

Anneylia stops and runs from the dance floor. "Anneylia!" Lucian tries to get to her, but she disappears into the crowd. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. Kenneth walks up to Lucian and claps his hand on Lucian's shoulder.

"That is unfortunate, Prince Lucian." Lucian glares at Kenneth for a minute before looking grimly at the floor.

"I should've factored in her shy personality and known not to dance with her... I must go apologize to her."

"I suggest you stay and have a good time without the child."

"She is not a child, Prince Kenneth. She is our age, and she is to be married soon. I wish to be the only candidate for her."

"Luci, I think it best if you do not follow the desires of your childish heart. You have known this girl since neither of you could talk... Do you not think she deserves better?" Lucian stares at the floor again and Kenneth pats his shoulder again. "You know I am, indeed, correct."

Kenneth walks away from Lucian, leaving the prince alone in the middle of the dance floor. Lucian walks out of the ballroom and onto the balcony, seeing Anneylia there. "Princess..."

The princess is startled for a moment, but quickly relaxes as the recognizable sound of her best friend's deep voice reaches her ears. "Prince Lucian..."

"Please, do not be so formal in front of me. I wish to one day become your husband, and formality is no way to speak to your husband."

"Stop talking nonsense! You and I both know that my father must pick a suitor for me, and has he called you forth to him once?" Lucian glances at Anneylia out of the corner of his eye and leans against the balcony railing before looking down at his shoes.

"No, he has not."

"Then why are we even talking about this? It is not a reasonable conclusion." Lucian grabs Anneylia's shaking shoulders and turns her to face him. He notices her tears instantly and wipes them away with his thumbs. He hugs her close to him.

"I know there is a reasonable conclusion. You always said you wanted to live a fairytale. I can give you that." Lucian smiles at Anneylia and takes her hand in his.

They walk into the dusty old ballroom, holding hands. A small child runs past them and twirls in her little, white dress, giggling to herself. Lucian leads Anneylia to the middle of the barren dance floor and wraps her in his arms, and they begin to sway.

Anneylia stares at the little girl and looks up at Lucian. "She's beautiful."

"She's ours."

She looks into his eyes as he mouths one word, "Fairytale."

How's Things Goin'

I am literally so tired - this year has sucked the life out of me. But hey, academics aren't that bad so I really have no right to complain. Other than my knee (which is not academic haha)... For some reason, it feels like it is going to explode. Ya know, like pressure is being put on the back of it and I just don't know what to do lol

Anyways, thought you guys might want an update with my life :)

My best friend is getting married. I am so happy for him! He's gone through a lot and he finally found happiness! I mean, they've only known each other for eight months and have been dating for that long, but hey, if he thinks it's the right choice, I'll support him! I am really really happy for him, though!

My other best friend changed schools. That makes me sad, but I know she is doing better there and we still keep in touch...a lot. Haha and she actually has a blog too, but anyways, I love her like a sister (if I had a sister) and she just means so much to me. I'm glad she is able to live up to her potential :)

Prom is coming up. I am going, as the boys say, "stag." Although, I will have eight other girls and one guy there with me, so I won't technically be going "stag." I think it will be a lot of fun!

I have been writing a lot. Not on here (obviously) but just in general. I am writing a book for fun and so far it is going great!

But then again... With my whole friend situation. There is this one dude who just will not stop annoying me. I can't stand it! Whenever I am around them, I never get a chance to talk and it's just so - ugh! I am really getting sick of this dude and I don't even know why I put up with this crap.

On a lighter note, I take piano and it is really fun. I use it kind of as a refresher from the hardships in my life.

I'm donating blood on Friday. That should be fun. I feel like I gotta give back cuz ya know I had two blood transfusions when I was younger and some strangers saved my life. Maybe I can save someone else's. Plus I kinda wanna know what my blood type is haha

Anyways, this whole blog post is just a bunch of random crap that I threw together on a page, but if you stuck around this long, I'm glad and just for you, I have put a story at the end of this. Well, a poem actually... I wrote it when I was feeling really down in middle school. It's just one of those poems lol ;)

Stolen

My words

My life

My family

My love

My friends

They're all gone

They've been stolen

Why

Why does this happen

Everyone loves

Everyone hates

Everyone is indecisive

Everyone is stolen

No one is correct

What

What is the concept

Of all

All of this stolen

Why do things need help

Why can't they just live

Without help

Why does it hurt

When something is torn

Why does it hurt

When something is broken

Why does it hurt

When something is stolen

Stolen

What does it mean

Taken away

Hurt

Shunned

Stolen

The world cannot be real

It is in our eyes

But what is it really

The world is corrupt

Shaken

Taken away

It is

Stolen

Hope to hear from you guys soon :)

-A

Dudeee

I'll tell you what - I'll give you a little taste of a little something I'm working on. I'm not sure if it's already on here, but if it is... Sorry :/ Maybe you can just read it again and see how you like it.

In a far off world, there was a girl. She was lonely because she thought that she could not be seen or heard by the only other life form on the planet - the boy.

The girl, with her flowing brown hair, slipped into her white dress. She walked across the field and looked at the boy. She stared into his beautiful gray eyes - like glowing charcoal after water has been poured over it - and saw no emotion there.

The girl spoke to him, called out to him, but he did not answer.

The wind began to pick up, and the boy's brown hair blew in front of his eyes. She reached up to brush his hair away from his face so she could see his beautiful eyes once more, but he turned his head and let out a deep breath.

--------

The boy watched as the girl came up to him, and he felt as if he had known her at some point in his life. She had come to see him every day, at this exact time, but he knew that this was not what he was thinking of. Where do I know her from, he thought.

As she stopped in front of the boy, she reached up to touch his hair. He looked away and acted as though he could not see her. After all, that is what is supposed to happen, right? He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding and tried to take a step in the direction of his "home," but he found that his feet would not move.

Something was keeping him there, but what? Seeing that girl every day, he thought, must be my problem. She has influenced me. But I cannot stop thinking about her. Why is this?

He turned back around and found that the girl was all the way across the field, her shoulders shaking slightly as tears flowed down her cheeks. I feel as though I should go comfort her, he thought, but why do I feel this way? The boy turned around again, and this time, he took a step forward and didn't look back.

I really like this entry. It makes me remember why exactly I became a writer in the first place. I'm definitely going to write more and post things as often as I can. Stress is overwhelming, but this writing helps. I'll see what I can do ;)

Adios for now...

Macabroni & Cheese

I literally have no idea what to write. I'm so tired of everything... I just want to curl up in a little ball and just stop. I love my friends and I love hanging out with them, but sometimes they just get on my nerves.

I mean, what are we four? "That's so and so's spot. She's been sitting there since the beginning of the school year!" Oh, stupid me. I didn't know that the seats in the cafeteria were engraved with our names on them. So, there's that whole deal.

And then my friends broke up with his girlfriend - or he was dumped - or... Well, they aren't a thing anymore.

Anyways, there's so much freakin drama and I just can't deal with it anymore. Yeah, tell me I whine and I complain and I'm a jerk and there's no reason for me to even be saying these things, but let me tell you something.

The reason I always talk about this is because you keep making it an issue. I don't have to name names. You know who you are.

I'll tell you what - if I get a few views on here, I will write a story and post it. That should get things flowing a bit better. Maybe it'll be about a friend of mine...maybe not. When I decide what it's going to be about and once I write it, I'll be sure to let you know.