Thursday, May 29, 2014

Broken

--POEM AT BOTTOM--

I'm going to be selfish for a moment and talk about my pain.

I'm a broken person. I've dealt with so much crap in my life and I honestly don't know how to get away from it. I have only had two people in my life that were able to take away my pain, but one of them is in college and no longer cares about me, and the other one is a moron. I love them both, I do, but they just don't take my pain away as much as they used to.

The one I never speak to is leaving me forever, moving on with his life like I was never a part of it. It hurts. More pain to add to my list. The other one, the moron, he is still alive and well and we see each other everyday, but he doesn't see through me anymore. He used to be able to tell when my pain was overwhelming, and now he doesn't even know when I'm speaking to him.

Here's a poem to keep you all entertained and not have to listen to my rant. I was feeling a little too lazy to add my punctuation in there, so I think I'll leave it be.

Broken

I'm broken
Inside
And out

A porcelain doll
Cracking
Crumbling
Into dust

No one can
Hear
See
Feel me

I am left
On a shelf
Of rotting
Decaying
Memories

And I am
Never
To be taken from
That shelf
That horrid
Disgusting
Revolting
Shelf

Never to be
Smiled at
Twirled around
Loved again

I just sit
And crack
And crumble
Rotting
Until the day
When I am
Forever broken

Broken
Beyond repair
Sadly
No one cares

I am an
Unfortunate soul
Looking for a
Better shelf

Yet
I do not move
I stay in the past
On the shelf
Of memories long since
Forgotten

No one can fix me
Except One
I just need time

But maybe
Being broken
Beyond repair
Rotting
And crumbling

Is what I
Want
Is what I
Crave
No, what I
Need

Because my brokenness
Is necessary
For me to forget
To feel again
To say goodbye
To love

I must be
Broken









Thursday, May 8, 2014

FAIRYTALE

--STORY AT BOTTOM--

I know it's been a really long time since I've posted anything - like a month. But hey, I've had a lot of fun interesting stuff happen since I've been gone.I know y'all would just love to hear about it LOL

Okay so I am still stressing about academics, and I have an exam tomorrow that I'm freaking out about. THREE HOURS OF ENGLISH! I MEAN I LOVE ENGLISH BUT THREE HOURS OF STUFF THAT I CAN'T PREPARE FOR?! I like to write and I am gifted with grammar, but three hours of comprehension reading and essays? I hope I can survive it... I think I will, but I just want to pass and do well on it.

Anyways, besides that... I gave that blood like a month ago and that went well - I didn't pass out haha :) And now prom has passed and that went well too LOL went "stag"

Let's see, what else? Ah, how about a little something for entertainment? Like a story?


Anneylia moves from left to right, swaying back and forth to the music. She surveys the room and then her eyes meet his - Lucian. His sandy blonde hair bounces on his head as he walks towards her. "Would you care to dance, milady?"

Lucian holds out his hand to Anneylia and she gratefully takes it. "Of course. I-It would be my honor."

"No, the pleasure is mine, princess." Lucian guides Anneylia onto the dance floor and after a few toe bombardments, the two of them begin to move beautifully. Everyone else stops dancing to watch Anneylia and Lucian dance. A crowd gathers around them and before the two members of royalty know what is going on, the entire party is centered around them.

Anneylia stops and runs from the dance floor. "Anneylia!" Lucian tries to get to her, but she disappears into the crowd. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. Kenneth walks up to Lucian and claps his hand on Lucian's shoulder.

"That is unfortunate, Prince Lucian." Lucian glares at Kenneth for a minute before looking grimly at the floor.

"I should've factored in her shy personality and known not to dance with her... I must go apologize to her."

"I suggest you stay and have a good time without the child."

"She is not a child, Prince Kenneth. She is our age, and she is to be married soon. I wish to be the only candidate for her."

"Luci, I think it best if you do not follow the desires of your childish heart. You have known this girl since neither of you could talk... Do you not think she deserves better?" Lucian stares at the floor again and Kenneth pats his shoulder again. "You know I am, indeed, correct."

Kenneth walks away from Lucian, leaving the prince alone in the middle of the dance floor. Lucian walks out of the ballroom and onto the balcony, seeing Anneylia there. "Princess..."

The princess is startled for a moment, but quickly relaxes as the recognizable sound of her best friend's deep voice reaches her ears. "Prince Lucian..."

"Please, do not be so formal in front of me. I wish to one day become your husband, and formality is no way to speak to your husband."

"Stop talking nonsense! You and I both know that my father must pick a suitor for me, and has he called you forth to him once?" Lucian glances at Anneylia out of the corner of his eye and leans against the balcony railing before looking down at his shoes.

"No, he has not."

"Then why are we even talking about this? It is not a reasonable conclusion." Lucian grabs Anneylia's shaking shoulders and turns her to face him. He notices her tears instantly and wipes them away with his thumbs. He hugs her close to him.

"I know there is a reasonable conclusion. You always said you wanted to live a fairytale. I can give you that." Lucian smiles at Anneylia and takes her hand in his.

They walk into the dusty old ballroom, holding hands. A small child runs past them and twirls in her little, white dress, giggling to herself. Lucian leads Anneylia to the middle of the barren dance floor and wraps her in his arms, and they begin to sway.

Anneylia stares at the little girl and looks up at Lucian. "She's beautiful."

"She's ours."

She looks into his eyes as he mouths one word, "Fairytale."